An Evil Witch's Best Friend
by Alex Ryzlin Gold
Summary: A series of one shots about Regina and Pongo's friendship through out the years. Includes time in FTL, cursed Storybrooke and post-cursed Storybrooke.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own OUAT, sadly

Court was always kind of boring but today was something else entirely. Normally there was at least something to interest her; intelligence reports, feuding neighbours that soon realised it was better to sort it out by their selves after a few sarcastic words and magic problems tended to be the most common but occasionally there was the case that just interested Regina. So far today there hadn't been anything of the sort and Regina was pretty sure that if she listened to many more cases she'd go insane. She sat up slightly as the two farmers left after having wasted her time by talking and solving their problem by themselves (they could have done that anywhere, but for some reason felt the need to bother her, it was frustrating). Bursting into the audience chamber and pushing the farmers aside came the most annoying Lady (she used the term loosely) Regina had ever met. Cruella De Vil. Following Cruella at a much slower pace were a couple and a spotted dog. Regina had to admit that the dog's colouring was interesting.

"Lady De Vil. What can I do for you?"

Cruella started to talk, rant really about how the couple had stolen her dogs and puppies and some other things that just turned into nothing more than garbled noise. She held up a hand and Cruella stopped speaking. The dog wasn't Cruella's. That much was obvious, she wouldn't have come to Regina for something like that unless the local law enforcement had already told her to go away.

"What is your name?"

The man stepped forward and started to speak but Regina quickly cut him off.

"Not you."

There was silence in the hall before the spotted dog let out a brief bark.

"It's nice to meet you Pongo. My name is Regina. Now, tell me what this is about."

Pongo started to bark and yip while Cruella stared at Regina with horror. The couple just looked confused in that sort of dumb way that Regina had seen on Charming so many times.

Regina sighed. "He's not your dog, Cruella. I'd suggest you leave him and his family alone otherwise I'll turn you into a fur coat."

"I don't have any fur!"

Regina sneered at Cruella. "I can fix that if you'd like."

Cruella turned and fled the audience chamber. At least that was slightly interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Set before Snow finds out about Cora and Regina.**

**Spoilers for 2.10 to 2.13**

Disclaimer: I still don't own OUAT.

Most of Storybrooke still evaded Regina like the plague. They'd sneer and mutter and even cross to the other side of the street sometimes. There were a few that didn't. Charming just pushed his way through everything in life and that didn't change with his dealings with her, at least Snow kept him on a short leash for his own good now that she was back. Snow didn't sneer or mutter or cross the road, but she didn't exactly seek Regina out. Emma did though, and it was annoying because really all Regina wanted was to see her son, not the woman who took her son away from her. She didn't see Henry. He was just never around whenever someone else from the Charming family tree turned up to badger her about something (and really you couldn't throw a spell without hitting someone Snow was related to _somehow_).

Ruby wasn't bad. She and Granny still served her and occasionally Ruby made small talk. Most of the time she seemed too preoccupied. Regina imagined it wasn't easy for her to work in the diner with her wolf senses. She'd pick up all the overpowering smells and noises. One day Regina left a packet of cigarettes with her tip. Ruby had smiled at her the next time she came in. At least cigarettes didn't smell like raw body odour from days of not showering after heavy labour. All the dwarves eating at once must just about make Ruby faint.

Archie was the same as he had always been, which was slightly disconcerting seeing as she had been blamed with his murder. He still greeted her with a happy 'beautiful day, isn't it?' no matter when or where they ran into each other but he had been much busier once everyone was back in Storybrooke. Things needed planning and supervision and people needed to deal with the fact that they were trapped. Who better than the psychologist with a PhD from 'Dark-Curse University'? He was a good man but sometimes he pushed too much and Regina wanted nothing more than to tell him her deepest darkest secrets and to scare him so badly he'd stop asking her when she was coming for her next appointment. She hadn't gone since his supposed death. She didn't want anyone thinking that she would actually complete the job her mother had framed her for. They'd probably start watching her closely if she so much as had a conversation with Archie and really, Regina couldn't be bothered with that. There was one drawback though, and that was Pongo.

Regina liked Pongo. She generally liked animals, particularly since she had learnt how to listen to them. It had been a weird thing to learn. It had started with Daniel teaching her how to talk and listen to horses. It had been second nature and once Regina found herself spending all her spare time in the White Palace with nothing to do (practising magic in the palace would have been suicide) she had started seeing if she could communicate to other creatures the same way. It was easy enough to apply the knowledge onto other animals. Birds were plentiful and the occasional cat found its way inside the palace through the kitchens or one of the ground floor windows. The royal hunting dogs were nice once Regina got to know them and tended to be bettered behaved around her, at least when they got to stay with her in the same room. It had annoyed some of the soldiers that whenever they tried to train the dogs and she walked past that the dogs would bound off to find her and only stay when she ordered them to. They never reported it to Leopold though; they didn't want to be seen as lacking in talent.

Rumple had been surprised when she had refused his lessons in communicating to animals had had assumed that Cora had taught her when he found out she already could. She had never seen fit to correct him. So yes, Regina missed Pongo. Which was why she had been glad that most of the times she saw Archie while walking down the street he was on the other side. It didn't stop the low whines Pongo made as he called out her name, but it was easier to ignore him. She didn't want to ignore him, but in the long run it would be easier.

Eventually Pongo made it so that Regina couldn't ignore him. The pounding on her front door interrupted Regina's morning. Reluctantly Regina answered the door to find a rather frazzled Archie as well as Ruby and all the Charming family excluding Emma and Henry, who were still out of town. She looked at them blankly, the surprise most definitely not showing on her face.

"Who have I supposedly killed this time?" Regina said with a snarl.

Archie flinched and Regina would have felt bad about it but whenever she had to share the same space as Snow she tended to be a bit more apathetic to other's feelings. And really, they were interrupting her morning at her house so they could all deal with a few nasty comments.

"Ah, no it's not anything like that. It's just that Pongo's missing."

Regina raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry but I fail to see how this concerns _me_. He's _your _dog."

Archie blushed slightly. It was kind of overkill to have Ruby and the Charming family with him but he had been frantic when Pongo had darted away and down the street refusing to come back when Archie had called for him. He hadn't known what to do so he had almost run to Granny's to find Ruby. The Charmings had decided to tag along as soon as Ruby had agreed to track Pongo down. Ruby had followed Pongo's scent across town to a rather isolated area that all of them knew rather well.

"I tracked him to this area and your house is the only one nearby." Ruby said quietly. The mayoral manor really was quite large and took up plenty of land.

Regina sighed. "I doubt you'd just take my word for it that I don't know where he is?"

Archie and Ruby shrugged while James just glared at her.

"Isn't that just too bad? I have other things to do and you're all wasting my time."

There was a loud bark from down the driveway and everyone turned towards it. Pongo happily bounded up the driveway towards them before sitting down next to Regina.

"Well," Regina said quickly. "there he is. You can leave my house now."

Pongo let out a happy bark and darted inside the house. Regina spun around and glared at Pongo's tail as it disappeared around the corner in the hall.

"Don't you dare get your dirty paws on my furniture!" Regina said with a scowl. She turned back to the group on her porch. "It seems like you might just have to come in. As much as I'd like you to leave me alone, Pongo has other ideas."

Regina entered her house with everyone following her. She headed down the hall towards the living room. It was annoying to have them all in her house but there wasn't anything she could do about it (well, she could magic them all away but Henry wouldn't appreciate it). She sat at the armchair and Pongo quickly moved towards her to rest his head in her lap and look up at her sadly.

"If you're going to act like a pup about it, you can leave right now."

Pongo let out a sharp bark and Regina just raised an eyebrow and scratched Pongo behind the ear.

"Regina? What's Pongo doing here?"

Regina refused to look up at Snow. "I've never claimed mind reading to be one of my abilities, Miss Blanchard. But if you really want to know, I can ask him. It would be much more accurate than whatever Miss Lucas could pick up on, and certainly more accurate than your magical abilities."

Ruby sat up. "Hey, I'm fine at communicating to Pongo."

Regina snapped her eyes up to Ruby her hand resting on Pongo's head. "Recent events would prove otherwise. Just because you're a mutt doesn't mean that you can communicate with dogs. If you could then you would have been able to ask him about Dr Hopper's so-called murder."

David jumped up from his seat as Ruby just stared at Regina with her mouth slightly open and a soft blush on her cheeks. "Hey you have no right to talk to Ruby like that!"

"What?" Regina spat. "Sarcastic? Mean? _Truthful?_ I'd say I have every right to be angry at her seeing as her false confidence in what she saw led me to being framed for murder. There are very few people in our world who can talk to animals and neither Miss Lucas nor Miss Swan are among them. I fail to see how either of them were qualified to take an official _police statement_ from a _dog_. It is a skill that must be taught or figured out and Miss Swan has done neither. Just because Rumple could show you a few memories doesn't mean that you can understand them."

David snorted. "And you can."

"Of course dear. Who do you think taught your wife to talk to her annoying little birds? She never could manage the larger mammals. They didn't respect her enough."

Regina repositioned herself slightly and looked disdainfully at Snow. "And before you ask Miss Swan, no it is not magic. It is a skill. Once you learn to listen to animals it becomes easy enough to talk to them."

"So, why's Pongo here?" Ruby asked quickly.

Regina looked down at Pongo. "Well?"

Pongo sat up, lifting his head from Regina's lap as he barked and whined at her. After a few minutes Regina stroked his head and he quietened down.

"It's okay Pongo. I don't blame you and I wasn't avoiding you. I was staying away from Dr Hopper, not you."

Pongo barked happily a few times.

"Thank you. That means a lot to me, dear. Now are we quite done with this?"

In response Pongo lay down on Regina's feet and rested his head on his paws. Regina sighed. "Apparently not."

"Regina," Snow said slowly. "what was that?"

"Pongo apologised to me for leading you to believe that I had killed Archie. He hadn't realised that you wouldn't pick up on my scent in the memory you shared."

"Your scent?"

"Yes, my scent. Pongo is a _dog_ and I'm sure even your proper princess education taught you that dogs are well known for their extraordinary ability of smell. Pongo knew I hadn't killed Archie because the 'me' that he saw didn't smell right. He feels as if he is partially to blame even though it's not _his_ fault that no one actually asked him if it was me."

Charming looked a combination of shocked that no one had thought to ask Pongo if he was sure Regina had done it (or at least seen his reaction to her) and defensive about Regina's insult to Snow's upbringing. Archie just stared at Pongo sadly. Obviously he knew that Pongo had been bothered by this for a little while now.

Snow frowned. "How did Emma not pick up on the smell? Pongo obviously remembered it."

Regina scoffed loudly before anyone could reply and stood up. "Miss Lucas wouldn't have been able to do it and you want Miss Swan to? Despite your tendency to treat her like one, Miss Lucas is a _werewolf_ not an actual dog. I commend her abilities in human form but even she is not _dog_ enough to assume smell is the most important sense unless she specifically needs to use it, particularly when memory is involved. So until _you_ start thinking about identifying someone with only smell and ignoring the visual evidence, don't go criticizing _your daughter_ for doing the exact same thing that you would do. If Ruby had no chance at figuring it out, what chance did Miss Swan have?"

Regina glanced down at Pongo. "Dear Lord, you've got me defending _that_ _woman_."

Ruby stared at the ground, her checks red from embarrassment of being talked about in such a way, but a slight smile on her lips gave away that she kind of agreed with Regina.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry that I accused you of killing Archie. I guess I still felt a little bit resentful for the walk comment, and well, you don't have the best track record. But I know you're trying to change." Ruby said slowly.

"Don't be dear. There is plenty of blame to spread around for this unfortunate incident and very little of it falls at your feet. At least you didn't believe a _dog _over me, you believed yourself, even if you were miserably _wrong_. No offense meant, Pongo. _Now_, if it's okay with you, I have other things to do. Get out of my house."

Everyone stood up and sort of awkwardly shuffled out the front door with Regina following them. If there was one thing to come from the day it was that they had all sort of dealt with things badly (Well, Ruby learnt that she kind of wanted to learn how to talk to animals too). The Charmings left quietly but waited at the bottom of the steps for Archie as he stood awkwardly in front of Regina. Ruby stood slightly behind him with Pongo.

"You know, Regina, I'm always free to talk. Even if it's just when you see me on the street." He smiled at her and turned around.

Ruby muttered a quiet 'thank you' before following him. It wasn't clear if she meant for standing up to the Charmings about their treatment of her (even if they hadn't really listened and she wasn't going to follow up on it) or if it was for Regina telling Ruby she wasn't to blame. Either way, Regina nodded her head at Ruby.

"Funny isn't it?" Regina said quietly as if to herself. "The only real heart felt apologises that I've believed have been from a dog and the woman who really didn't need to bother. I guess 'charming' is just a name after all."

Snow turned quickly pointing a finger at Regina. "I apologised!"

"Excuse me if I find the apology lacking when half a second later you turned around and told me I had no right to know where my son was, let alone when he left town."

David slowed his step and started to turn around. Regina quickly stepped back and shut her front door. She didn't want to deal with pity apologises. And if the Charmings wanted to look like they had less manners than a dog that was their own prerogative.


	3. Chapter 3

**I hadn't intended to continue these Pongo and Regina friendship moments, but I sort of love them so I'm probably going to write a few more.****Stoic Last Stand made me want to keep writing, so thanks. This isn't one of the ideas you threw to me, but I'm going to work on one of those ones soon.**

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own OUAT yet either

The first day of the curse Regina had almost greeted Pongo the moment he strained against the lead Archie was holding. She had stopped herself just in time. Talking to dogs was a little too close to magic (at least in a world without magic) and Regina wasn't going to screw this up on the first day. She watched Pongo (and therefore Archie) as they passed her, but ignored everything that came out of the man's mouth. Regina could already tell that she would find him annoying.

The second day Regina was prepared and she nodded her head towards Pongo. Archie greeted her back enthusiastically, but Pongo's quick yip told her that he had understood the acknowledgement was meant for him.

By the end of the first month Pongo and Regina had fallen into an easy routine where Pongo yipped at her and Regina nodded, pretending she was agreeing with Archie's 'lovely day' comment. She had been right, he was annoying as hell.

After a year Regina didn't always nod at Pongo, but he certainly still greeted her happily. Sometimes he asked her if she was okay or if he could do something to help her. She very definitely looked away when he did that.

The first time Regina walked past Pongo after having not seen him for several weeks (she was still getting used to having a baby and that meant changing her schedule dramatically) he barked nonstop until Archie literally had to pull him away down the street. Regina had just been happy that Henry hadn't woken up from the nap he was taking in his stroller.

When Henry was five, Regina started up her morning walks again. She had spent the past few years going into work later and coming home earlier with a pile of paper work to take care of at home, but it had been worth it to spend more time with Henry. But now he was five and was starting school, which meant earlier mornings, and earlier mornings meant walking past Pongo again. And Archie, but he was only a minor nuisance.

Regina and Henry walked hand in hand down the road on the way to school. Henry was excited and bounced with each step. Regina had to fight down the dread that had been building up ever since she had enrolled Henry in school. She didn't want him to spend more time away from her; it seemed like only yesterday that she had gotten him.

Pongo let out a confused whine when he saw Regina and Henry. He tilted his head as Henry giggled at him. Regina would have pulled Henry past Archie and Pongo, but Henry was clearly interested in Pongo. He was such a caring boy; he loved to talk to people and animals alike. They came to a stop in front of Archie. Regina ignored Archie's slightly surprised look and turned to Henry.

"Is there something you'd like to ask Dr Hopper, Henry?"

Henry nodded happily. "Can I pat doggie?"

"Oh, of course you can Henry." Archie said quickly. He would have agreed to anything Henry wanted simply because the Mayor was glaring at him like _that_.

Regina crouched down next to Henry and held her hand out. Pongo quickly stepped forward and placed his head under Regina's hand. She gave him the scratches he was almost begging for.

"Henry, this is Pongo. Pongo, this is my son, Henry. Go on, he won't bite."

Henry put his hand out for Pongo to sniff. He had been lectured about quite a few things before Regina was comfortable (who was she kidding, she still didn't like the idea of not having Henry around all day) letting Henry go to school. How to act around potentially dangerous animals was one of them. Pongo ducked his head and let Henry pat him clumsily before licking the boy's fingers. After a few minutes Regina stood and ran her fingers through Henry's hair.

"Come on henry, we need to get you to school."

Henry nodded but wasn't happy to be led away from Pongo. Regina didn't bother excusing herself to Archie. She made a mental note to make Henry wash his hands once they got to the school.

Much like Regina had predicted each day that she walked Henry to school was a day that she saw Archie and Pongo. Each day Pongo sat at Henry happily starched him behind the ears. For once Regina could actually greet Pongo (and Archie, but she didn't care about him). It was … nice.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: OUAT does not belong to me. Shame.

Regina hadn't expected to be accosted by Archie and Ruby moments after she walked through the doors to the diner. She had just wanted coffee and nice company which Regina normally took in the form of Granny. Granny had been rather welcoming ever since the apology fiasco a few weeks ago and Regina knew enough about being a mother to know that apparently she had done something right by Ruby, and thus right by Granny. It also probably had something to do with Cora's death. Ever since she had been forced to kill her mother, Granny and Ruby had both been much more accommodating. Granny probably more for Ruby's benefit and Ruby probably because she felt they shared the same burden of accidental matricide (both of which could be laid at Snow's feet but Regina tried not to go there because it just made her angry and anger made her magic act up). They never _talked_ about it, but it was slightly reassuring that someone was nice(er) to her. And Granny's stifled laugh after the 'blackened sole' comment to Snow had really endeared her to Regina. She'd later gotten a list of witty food based quips and the diner's specials schedule for the next month on her front door step. Regina hadn't used any yet, but she had certainly memorised them all.

Granny had just handed Regina her coffee when Archie, Ruby and Pongo entered the diner. Granny scowled.

"Ruby, I love Pongo slightly more than I love any other animal, but he's still not allowed in the diner. It's unhygienic."

Pongo, bless him, started to head towards the door before his leash pulled taunt because Archie wasn't moving with him.

"I understand the need to keep the diner clean, Granny." Archie said quietly. "I just need a quick word with Regina and every time I leave Pongo he starts getting nervous. I can't even leave him with Ruby."

Ruby pouted. "I'm worried about him."

Regina glanced down at her coffee and sighed. She hadn't even paid for it, yet alone taken a sip. Granny gave her a look of sympathy, which from pretty much anyone else, Regina wouldn't have accepted. But Granny wasn't showing sympathy for anything more than being too busy to even have a cup of coffee undisturbed. Which really, wasn't asking for much. She pulled a twenty out of her purse and laid it on the counter before picking up her coffee mug and heading outside to sit on one of the slightly damp chairs laid out there. She crossed her ankles and sipped her coffee while Ruby and Archie took a seat at the table with her. Pongo happily sat down at Regina's feet and rested his head on the ground next to her. If anything it seemed like he needed a long nap. No one said anything so Regina just continued to sip her coffee.

It took ten minutes before Ruby became fed up with waiting and that probably mostly had to do with the fact that she knew Granny would call her to work soon.

"Aren't you going to ask him what's wrong?"

Regina glanced down at a sleepy Pongo and nudged his side with her foot. He let out a disgruntled woof.

"Well that was rude. You may want to nap but I have things to do with my day that don't involve translating your problems for Hopper to solve. Anyway, I doubt having been a cricket makes him a qualified animal psychologist."

Pongo let out another woof before Ruby or Archie could say anything about Regina's comment. This woof was decidedly whinier than the other one had been.

"Really, again? What is with that moggie? He never can seem to stick to his own house. I'll talk to him."

Regina finished her coffee before turning to Archie.

"Air out your office and lock the windows when you leave for the night. Now if you'll excuse me, I have someone to track down."

/-/-/-/-/

Regina had spent the better half of the morning looking for the ginger and white tom cat that had gotten on Pongo's nerves both in Storybrooke and in fairytale land. It wasn't until eleven that Regina managed to track him down and she almost decided to just leave it and charm Archie's office against intruders when she realised the she needed to head into the sheriff's station. Instead she just sighed and straightened her shoulders, ready to ignore everything but that damned cat. So she did.

Regina ignored Emma's questions and David's posturing and instead she went into one of the cells and reached under the bunk to snag two struggling balls of fluff. One was pure white while the other was a smoky grey. It only took a second before an orange fluff ball, just as small as the two in her hands was attempting to hiss and swipe at her foot. She moved the white kitten to her other hand and picked up the orange one by the scruff of it's neck. It continued to spit and hiss at her.

"Really now! What bad manners; I believe Duchess raised you better than that."

The kitten stopped hissing and looked away a little guiltily. The white kitten mewled at the ginger one quite loudly and Regina had to supress a smirk at the telling off it was getting. She gently placed the kittens on Emma desk.

"Now, I don't know any of your names. But I am sure your mother is worried sick about you."

Regina paused as each of the kittens mewled at her. "It is a pleasure to meet you Toulouse, Marie and Berlioz. May I ask where Thomas is? I doubt he would leave you alone, Duchess would murder him."

Toulouse, the ginger kitten who was apparently the eldest answered and Regina just sighed. That damn tom cat was always getting into trouble. This time he had gotten himself trapped in the interrogation room while adventuring the night before with the kittens. Regina petted all three of the kittens and they started to purr. They had obviously been there all night, not knowing what to do and both David and Emma had been too oblivious to notice them. Regina glanced up. Emma was trying to hide a smile and David stared at her slack jawed.

"David, if you would be so kind as to unlock the interrogation room, this would move along a lot faster."

"Why don't you do it?"

"Because you're the deputy with the keys." She said in a slow drawl.

David grabbed the keys off the desk and headed to the interrogation room. Seconds after the door was opened a ginger and white blur sped out and jumped up onto Emma desk to wrap around the kittens there.

"You have to stop doing this, especially with the kittens."

The tom cat ignored her and licked at the kittens. Regina scowled and flicked the end of his tail. He turned around with a sharp yowl that died in his throat when Regina flicked his ear. He sat down with a scowl and his ears pressed back against his skull.

"Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey Thomas O'Malley you listen to me right now. You will stop wandering into other people's property at night and you will _stay away_ from Pongo's home. That includes Hopper's office. If I get another complaint that ruins a perfectly good day I will make sure Duchess hears about it. Are we clear? And that's not even taking into consideration you took her kittens out into town in the middle of the night and got _separated_ from them, leaving them _defenceless_."

Thomas ducked his head and agreed. The scariest thing in his life was most certainly an angry Duchess, but an angry Regina was pretty high up there as well.

"Now, I am taking you all back home and this better be the last I hear about it."

She turned and marched out the door; Thomas, Toulouse, Marie and Berlioz all trotting out after her though Thomas did look rather put out.


End file.
